Today was supposed to be happy. My last day of class. As an undergrad. I had finally made it. I made it through five years of undergrad and would soon be graduating. But at 5:50pm that changed. 

 NinerAlert: Shots reported near Kennedy. Run, Hide, Fight. Secure yourself immediately. Monitor email and emergency.uncc.edu  

Like Seriously? Was this real life? A school shooting? At UNC Charlotte? Lol Nah no way. But yes. There was an ACTIVE ASSAILANT here on campus and shots have been fired. Now I wasn't on campus, but my Sisters were. 30,000 other students were. Faculty. Staff.  We were supposed to be celebrating LDOC with the Waka Flocka Concert, but instead, people were running for their lives. Instead, we were all shocked at the fact that this was actually taking place.

I'm confused though. Everything leading up to that moment was happy. Was positive, happy go lucky, filled with graduation pictures and in a second that all changed. Everyone was sending messages...making phone calls...posting that they're safe. It was surreal to see the line of police cars flying by. To see them turn onto your campus One after the other. To see the helicopters circling above. The campus was so loud; The air filled with sirens. 

What drives people to do things like this? Is this their way of crying for help? Was there no other solution for them? Was this LITERALLY the only way to go about things? 

I'm confused because what do you do tomorrow? Do we still post graduation photos? Do we just carry on?

Like what IS IT that do in times like this? 

You know what's scary. Texting your mom and brother:

Crazy feeling right?  

You just never think it’ll happen to you until it does. And by then it’s too late.

It's interesting though because we wake up with these uneasy feelings. Like something is off today. We feel it but still, get up and carry on. We’re supposed to be somewhere, but events keep taking place that prevents you from getting there. Is that fate? Is that God looking out? Warning you...slowly rearranging the cosmos to make sure that you’re nowhere near it? The grand puppet master pulling strings. 

Everything happens for a reason... the majority of the time it is unknown to us, but we live. We live and carry on because we have to. I have to. For the sake of my peace.   

Signed, 

-confused and emotionally exhausted